Wednesday, December 31, 2014

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

New Year's resolutions are meant to be broken!  Sometimes setting smaller goals help achieve bigger goals.  Sometimes it's fun to try something new.  Sometimes it's a positive move to continue something fun.  Here are a few resolutions that keep those points in mind with the ultimate goal of finding some New Year's resolutions that might be kept...

10.  I will eat THREE pieces of King Cake.  I will eat one green, yellow, and purple piece.  I will not count the calories.

9.  I will get some temporary hair dye.  I will actually put it in my hair and go somewhere.  I will actually go somewhere no matter how bad it looks.

8.  I will feed the ducks.  Yes, I have done this before.  However, I am making a conscience effort to do it more often.

7.  I will find a band I have never heard of before.  I will buy their album.  I will listen to every song at least once.

6.  I will buy and wear some fancy shoes.  Okay, I just want an excuse to buy more shoes.  I will try to find a pair on clearance, but no promises.

5.  I will unlocked one more character on Dumb Ways to Die.  I have unlocked many characters.  However, I have to unlock just one more!

4.  I will take one selfie.  I will not photoshop it.  I will not filter it.  (I didn't say I would post it now.)   

3.  I will plank for two minutes.  I can already plank for seventy-five seconds.  Eighty seems impossible.  I have a year to get to one hundred twenty seconds.

2.  I will buy fruit and eat all of it before it goes bad.  EVERY.  TIME.  I already buy fruit.  I already eat fruit, but one always goes bad.  This has to stop.

1.  I will take a calculus class.  I will pass a calculus class.  Okay, this one may not be kept. 

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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

WHY IT'S OKAY TO BE ALONE THIS CHRISTMAS

Enjoy the holidays!  Holidays mean many different things to many different people.  However, if you find yourself flying solo, here are some things you can actually look forward to...

10.  It's one less present to buy.  So instead of buying those two hundred dollar gadgets your exes always wanted, you can buy yourself a couple of new outfits...  Treat yourself to something special.  Enjoy your hard earned cash.

9.  No in-laws to visit.  Yay!  Okay, yay is not the right spelling, and this reason is cliche.  In-laws can be cool, but for now, it's one less trip.

8.  Play your favorite song over and over and over.  You can sing it one thousand times, and it doesn't even have to be Christmas music.  You won't annoy anyone.  Sing your heart out.  

7.  You might see Santa.  No one will judge you if you happen to look out the window late at night... and stare for a really long time at the sky.  Listen for the jingle of the sleigh bells.  Look for the red light emitting from up above... 

6.  Build that fantastic gingerbread house.  Then...demolish it...how ever you see fit.  No one's watching...except maybe Santa.  It will be the best tasting chimney ever, though!   

5.  Smile!  If smiling is really that hard to do, then try to frown and say the word "bubble".  Pop in a great comedy.  Read some on-line jokes (or blogs-just saying).        

4.  Pamper yourself.  Spend the day on you.  The bubble bath you never take -- take it.   The scented body lotion you never use -- use it.  The odd color nail polish that you never tried -- try it.  

3.  Wish others a blessed day.  Call your family.  Call your friends.  Say hello to the neighbor that you never really speak to.  Be the one to spread the joy and wish everyone a simple "happy holiday".    

2.  Bond with nature.  Buy a hummingbird feeder.  Hummingbirds are beautiful to watch!  Get a goldfish.  Goldfish bring good luck if Santa doesn't.    

1.  Stuff your stocking with your favorite treats!  Eat white chocolate, dark chocolate, and chocolate with caramel!!!  Flavored candy canes make for a great treat if peppermint gets boring.  After all, the treats taste so much better when you know all those wicked exes only get coal.

(COME BACK FOR MORE HUMOR!  Follow the blog. :)  This blog is for entertainment purposes only.)